Picking a movie to watch is hard as hell. It really is. It is so mood dependent, time dependent, option dependent, and of course, feeling dependent. Sometimes you just want films that make you cry, because who needs therapy when you can ball your eyes dry over some light entertainment from the comfort of your very own home? And, ya know, pizza is good for that too I guess.
Too many options are causing mad stress. Darn it to heck, whoever thought that choosing a good weepy film could be so bloomin difficult? However, looking at the traits of each sign, there are some clues about which films are most likely to cause profuse eye leakage. Whether you are a tearful Taurus or a crying Capricorn, there are definitely lots of films that will get those tear drops flowing.
With some advice from astrology experts Frank Clifford, of The London School Of Astrology, and Tiffany Harelik, of Wise Skies Astrology, I have compiled a list of films most likely to get those tear ducts working, depending on your zodiac sign. Yes, that is a thing. So here are the best films to make you cry, based on your zodiac sign.
Aries: ‘The Way’
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This film will pull at the heart strings of an adventurous Aries. Harelik, a true expert in all matters astrological, says:
“Because Aries are confident and courageous, they sometimes shoot from the hip. Thus, in matters of the heart, when someone is blindsided in a situation, that is likely to trigger them emotionally.”
The Way is the story of a man dealing with the tragic and sudden death of his son. The film, starring real life father and son Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez, is filled with sadness and adventure. The son had planned on doing the world famous pilgrimage, the Camino De Santiago, but after he dies suddenly, his father chooses to complete the walk in memory of his son. It is an absolute heartbreaker seeing him learn more about his son and going through the devastating stages of loss.
Taurus: ‘Marley And Me’
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Taureans are fiercely loyal and there is absolutely nothing that compares to the loyalty a dog has for its owner. Harelik informs me that:
“Because of the loyalty and nurturing nature of a Taurus, they seek and identify with security in relationships, friendships, and family. A betrayal of loyalty or on the flip side, someone sacrificing themselves for another would likely evoke the emotional sensitivity in strong, unwavering Taurus.”
Marley And Me tells the story of a couple’s relationship, from its early days, centred around their adoption of a naughty little puppy which they name Marley. From start to finish, this one is a tear-jerker. Marley, a lovable scamp, is their constant companion through all sorts of emotional upheavals like work, fertility issues, parenthood, moving, relationship stresses, and just life in general.
I don’t think I need to tell you the end. I am sure you can guess it. But OMG, it still makes me cry every time.
Gemini: ‘Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind’
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Thoughtful dreamers, Geminis will be reaching for the box of tissues with this one. Geminis are tough cookies, but Harelik tells me:
“They may be triggered when they can’t think their way through a problem, and are forced to feel. It’s hard to get them to cry, but one area they are more sensitive to is when family ties are disrupted: family betrayal, family bonds are broken, or when someone gets left out.”
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind shows an absolutely beautiful love story that, like most of the beautiful love stories, is super dang tragic.
Having targetted memories removed in order to start again? Making the decision to remove the memories of your loved one so you don’t feel pain anymore? Who knew romantic sci-fi could be so gut wrenching?
Cancer: ‘Up’
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Deeply sentimental, anything about being far from home and loved ones is always going to get Cancerians in an absolute mountain of emotional devastation. They can’t help it, the gooey old things. Just like our expert Harelik, who confirms:
“Cancer is the most empathic of the signs; they tend to take on other people’s feelings and emotions. They are easily triggered when the underdog loses and when someone gets hurt.”
The first 20 minutes of Disney Pixar’s Up can only be described as crushingly beautiful and painfully brilliant. Not since Bambi has a kids’ film been so harsh and brutally honest about love and loss.
This gorgie little film tells the story of Carl Fredricksen, a grumpy old man fighting the development of his neighbourhood. His joie de vive is reignited by a boy scout named Russell and an adventure that goes far beyond what you could imagine.
You will laugh, you will cry. You will mostly cry like, a lot.
Leo: ‘The Notebook’
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Oh Leos, you sentimental old fools! Warm and entirely driven by the desire to be loved and admired. Let me put this down, you are about to get “Notebooked”. Harelik says:
“Because Leos have such a big heart, they are often very sentimental. Memories, heirlooms, and proper recognition are important to them. Making someone feel insignificant or less than will break their hearts.”
The Notebook is one of the most tear inducing films ever. It tells the story of a pair of star crossed lovers, him from the wrong side of the tracks. A lot of hearts get broken in her family’s effort to keep them apart yet their love never wanes. OMG and that ending.
Virgo: ‘Selma’
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Fiercely proud, this story of Dr. Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights moment definitely resonates with the dutiful Virgo. Harelik says:
“Because Virgos have such a strong sense of duty and service, they identify with what is ‘right’. They also have tendencies to be hyper-critical of themselves, and therefore others. When others are picked on or bullied, this can lead to the Virgo feeling insecure and emotional.”
This historical tale of Dr. King’s campaign to secure equal voting rights with a huge march from Selma, Alabama, to the state’s capital, Montgomery, contributing to the passing of the Voting Rights Act of 1965.
The pride and need for equal rights without violence will pull at anyone’s heart strings but definitely have your average Virgo in a heap of tears.
Libra: ‘Blue Is The Warmest Colour’
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For Librans, that big old set of scales is always hanging over them. This film shows how once your balance of trust and love is broken, it is nearly impossible to repair a relationship. Clifford points out that:
“What really gets your average Libran upset is anything about the conflict of relationships and trying to balance life.”
Famous for that sex scene, the thing that stays with you most after this film is not the reverse scissoring but the heartbreakingly honest portrayal of what it is like to lose that deep, close bond with someone, and how your whole world gets turned upside down.
Pass me the biscuits, this Libran is crying again.
Scorpio: ‘Never Let Me Go’
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Scorpios are some serious tough cookies. I can testify to that. One of my best friends is a Scorpio and I have only seen him cry once. I may also be one of the only people who have ever seen him cry. All suspicions re Scorpios being tough as nails are confirmed by Harelik, who tells me:
“Scorpios often hide their true feelings and emotions from those around them, and even themselves. Thus, Scorpios are a tough nut to crack in the theatre. Good luck!”
So let’s go in with a hard-hitter. This film is so tragic and painful from beginning to end. Based on the novel written by Kazuo Ishiguro, it is about children who are raised for one purpose.
Tricked into living a healthy life, for a future that doesn’t exist.
This dystopian tale is very, very hard viewing and will have your little sting tailed Scorpio clinging to you for dear life.
Sagittarius: ‘V For Vendetta’
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Beautiful, creative and wild, your average Sag is quite the passionate character. Harelik confirms that:
“Because they are so open-hearted and visionary, Sagittarius love to rally for a cause they believe in. They can feel discouraged, hopeless, and broken-hearted when people aren’t in sync with their worldview.”
V For Vendetta is set in Britain in a dystopian future. Evey Hammond, an unlikely hero, is a huge part of bringing down a totalitarian fascist British government. After her life is saved by some guy in a creepy mask (it’s a Guy Fawkes mask apaz) called V, she learns a bit about him and what he is about (anarchy) and is like “hell yeah I’ll join you!’. OK maybe not those words but real talk, I cried like a little baby during this film and your Sagg will too.
Capricorn: ‘Atonement’
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This films is dang tragic AF from start to finish. So many frickin plot twists and like, each one more painful. WTF guys give us a break. What does Harelik have to say on the matter?
“Because they are so focus-driven and determined, it would break the Capricorn’s heart to watch someone work their whole life on an unattainable goal, or to fall short of a hard-fought victory.”
Oh well like, deffo this one will have them in tears then, mate.
Briony Tallis, a 13-year-old aspiring writer (and pain in the butt, IMO) sees her sister Cecilia getting nasty with Robbie, the son of the help. She assumes it was not consensual. Add to that a saucy letter the nosey parker intercepts between Robbie and Cecilia, she just assumes the worst. I won’t ruin the rest in case you haven’t seen it, but suffice to say, things don’t go well for Robbie. It’s a tragedy.
Aquarius: ‘Schindler’s List’
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Is this one of the saddest films of all time? Yes. Why is it particularly sad to Aquarians though? Harelik explains:
“Anything that harms the collective and affects the masses is devastating to Aquarius.”
The thing that makes this even more devastating is that it is a true story. Successful businessman Oskar Schindler risked his own life in order to save the lives of more than 1,100 Jews during the Holocaust.
This film shows his story and that of the people he saved.
Even thinking about it I am having tear flashbacks. Hold on Aquarians, I got you.
Pisces: ‘Brokeback Mountain’
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This film, had me crying like a fool in the cinema. No word of a lie. Harelik confirms this devastating tale of forbidden love is just the ticket for your average Piscean:
“Pisces are known for their compassion, but they also have escapism tendencies. They enjoy getting lost in music and movies, and almost anything can trigger their deepest emotions. Grab the tissues when Pisces witness a tragedy, sense there is a lack of compassion, or feel there is a misunderstanding.”
Two young guys, Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist, meet working as sheep herders on Brokeback Mountain. They begin just as perfect strangers and slowly get to know each other, falling in love. They freak out at their love for each other, knowing that their love is forbidden by society and could put them in danger.
Knowing also that they couldn’t live without each other, they arrange “fishing trips” (winky emoji) so they can revisit their love for each other. Of course, things don’t go as you want for them, with one tragedy following another.
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